Hidup Aku Sekarang~

Well...dh lma tak tulis nie..hurmm..well..aku rasa..for the past 4 to 5 months, hidup aku miserable gila..itu ini, mcm2 la jdi kat aku..tak tau nak ckap mcm mne..so..first thing first..life must go on isn't it?


okay...first bnda yg teramat la sedih aku rasa..hard disk aku kena virus..tak leh bukak langsung..nak recover pun takleh..dlm tu? tak payah ckap laa..gmbr family, gmbr bestfriend..semua kenangan terindah and movie2 yg aku kumpl smpai dekat beratus tu hilang cenggitu je..faham tak perasaan tu? haha..well...dlm kesedihan tu..ada jgak happy moment..i got a lot of things..org bgi..bnyak sngt bnda yg org tu bagi kat aku..tp this one? sngt la..unexpected la drpd seorang junior pulak tu..a student..and the box is pink..>_<

nothing to say tho..speechless..sbb tak pernah dpt barang yg quite mahal la mcm nie kalau bukan sbb birthday ke, pape la..nie just a present for my existence maybe..but love it so much..thanks to you love..^^

the second sad thing...my camera..man..the lens rosak..aku tak tau nak kata apa dh..kalau nak beli boleh je..but..you know..the body kit is pink..and kalau aku beli pun lens baru..takde pink..hitam and putih je..so aku hesitated la jgak nak beli dulu..lantak la..aku pun dh mls nak fikir dh..sedih...

yg happy pulak..my sis gonna get engage..with a man that i think i approve him to be the part of our family..hahaha..nak mintak something la sbb ambik my sis from me..GIVE ME AN IPHONE BROTHER!!! kejam tak aku? hehehe..aku doakan kakak aku bahagia ngan dia..and you big bro..you mess around with my sis...i'll kill you!! NOTED THAT!! 

itu je la pun yg i think quite besar la jgak impact nya kat aku..yg kecik2 tu..nak tulis..smpai bila tak habis..haha..atleast aku ada jgak jenguk and update blog nie kan..dripd tade langsung..smpai bersawang..kalau boleh bersawang aku rasa dh tak nmpk pape dh kot dlm nie..penuh habuk, debu, sawang and serangga yg dh beranak pinak..

that's all from now...will be back..hurmm..maybe 4 to 5 months from now? again..hahaha...

Cinta Lama~ P/S: ditulis selepas break up buat pertama kalinya dlm hidup aku..

Cinta itu buta..
kita mencintai seseorang itu dengan sepenuh jiwa dan raga..
namun apakan daya..
cinta tidak bertahan selamanya..

hati hancur pabila ku tahu kita tak kan bersama semula..
kau sudah bertemu dgn si dia..
yg mencuri hati mu..
semasa kita mencapai saat bahagia..

ku pasrah dan akur dgn keputusan mu..
bkn slh mu itu sayang ku..
namun salah ku jua kerana melepaskan mu dri pelukan ku..
hgga kini aku menyesali perbuatan ku itu..

aku sedar siapa diri ku..
aku bukan siapa2 di dalam hidup mu..
diri ku hanya singgah untuk sementara waktu..
sebagai kenangan terindah buat kau dan aku..

sudah lama kita berpisah..
ingatan ku tetap pda drimu..
aku buntu..
inikah yg dinamakan cinta??
yg menyiksa jiwa dan raga..
mungkin untuk seketika..
atau juga mungkin untuk selama-lamanya.

kau telah menemui kekasih hati mu.
kau tinggalkan aku..
seorang diri..
terperangkap di dalam memori yg plg indah dlm hidupku.

ku tahu kebahgiaan yg kau beri kan pada ku itu..
hanya untuk sementara waktu..
disaat aku memerlukan mu.
kau jauhkn dirimu dri diri ku..

kini..
ku hanya bisa mnangis tak berair mata..
hati ku hancur lebur bila teringatkan dirimu..
mengapa cinta kita yg utuh itu..
berakhir begitu sahaja??
tanpa kerelaanku..

kini..
kau sudah bhagia bersama si dia yg dicinta..
aku kini terkapai-kapai untuk mencari diriku semula..
kemana ku menghilang??
gelak tawa ku..
kegirangan ku..
dan kehidupan ku..
semua nya sudah hilang bersama cinta kita yg dulu..

ku harap aku bisa kembali semula seperti dulu..
untuk meneruskan hidup ku tanpamu..
aku sendiri.
berdiri d sini..
menanti cinta hadir di dalam hati..
untuk kembali bersinar...
agar hidupku kembali bermakna..
wlaupun tanpa kau untuk menyinari hidup ku..

kini..
aku sedari..
mungkin kita memang tidak ditakdirkan bersama..
mungkin bukan jodoh kita.
ya..
itu yg aku rasakan..
sekarang.
aku mulai menyedari..
kita telah ditentukan begini..
apa yg kita harus lakukan sekarang..
adalah mencari..
cinta suci yg lain akan hadir didalam hati..
dan menerima semua ketentuan ilahi..
yg telah ditulis sejak azali...

Something that i wrote 2 years ago..

Somewhere we went wrong..we were once so strong..our love is like a song..you can't forget it..You broke my heart, but i still love you with all the pieces left behind..What really hurts the most is you didn't come after me..Having a love of your life, and you break up and say "we still can be friend" is like your cat dying and your mom said "you still can keep it"..It is easy to say 'i don't love you anymore' but it's hard to explain the reason why i still do..Im lying in the bathroom floor..thinking about you, and try my best to breathe while at the same time wondering why it all went wrong and how am i gonna do to get back up and pretend like everything is all right..and think what to do with my broken heart..and i do that every day..
I looked in the mirror everyday and fixed my self up, wash away my tears and be strong, paint a smile everyday and walk  away...i have to pretend im fine..=)
I hope you know that i was crying every night just because i was thinking about you...
The worst feeling in this life is not feeling lonely. but being forgotten by someone you could never forget..
The hardest thing for me to do is to keep smiling just to stop the tears from falling everytime i saw you..
I cry not because our love ends, but because it still continues even if it's over..
I keep my self busy with doing things just to forget you..but everytime i stop or pause..i still thinking about you..
I hope you understand why i go out with other guy...it's not that i love him or had replaced you..it just something i do to make me busy and not thinking about you..I don't want to search for other people..I don't want to be in relationship with anybody right now..I just want you..but i can't have you for the second time..and im sorry for that..I hope you know how much i love you and what you mean to me..it just that it's not our destiny to be together and hope you will forget about me so that you can live better without hurting just because of me..i know it's hurt and hard to do when you still in love with that person..maybe you're not anymore but i know i am..btw..thanks bcoz of this you have make me become a little stronger than before...well..sorry for everything i cause you..sorry for hurting you..sorry for everything i've done...honestly, i want to hug you and kiss you for the last time before you go away from me forever..but i know i can't do it..im afraid that i can't let you go from my arms..well..it hurts but we have to move on..hope you happy now without me..and don't ever think even once that i already forget about you..i won't and never so...and also, don't even think that i don't love you before..i am and will always like that..that's all i wanted to say to you..thanks for loving me before..thanks for everything..thanks for the memory...i appreciate it..lastly,I REALLY LOVE YOU BIE....=')

fIrSt ActiViTy~

slepas selesai nye masalh moto pancit tu..journey aku bersambung dikeesokan hari nya dgn tade buat pape..hahaha..aku dok umah...tgok movie..kakak aku balek klas then kluar skejap..tu pun..makan..then balek..tp the first activity yg aku buat kat sna was rafting..masa otw tu..lalu bnyak tempat swah and scenery yg sngt cantik..malang nyer aku nie bukan photographer bertauliah...gmbr2 kat bawah nie aku ambik masa dlm kereta..so a bit shaky lah..tp serious..klau tgk real2 mmg cantik..^___^

itu masa perjalanan...so smpai je tmpat rafting tu..dh byr suma..dyorang bagi equipments like helmet,baju keselamatan tu, paddle...itu je la pun...and rupa aku sngt lawak..hahaha..nie la gmbr ktorang msa dye tgh bgi bnda2 alah tuu..

tp sebelum smpai ke sungai tu..ktorang kne lalu semak samun and sawah padi..best la..tp agak jauh..and prmandangan dye mmg pergh laa org kata..cantik gler..sbb tmpat tu..kira mcm dekat bukit..kawasan gunung la kot..and here's some of the pictures that had been taken there on our way to the stream..

mcm biasa..common thing to do..gmbr mlompat la kan? hahaha..tp tak jd..>_< jln punya jln then smpai..tp agak lama mnuggu org tu ready boat and everything..ktorang apa lgi..ambik gmbr lgi..hahaha..

bosan menanti boat ready..>_<

Nie ktorang saje nak sukat ketinggian paddle dgn bdan..mmg aku dh dekat sma tggi la kan....

with my lovely sis..saje nak rendam kaki bg rasa kesejukan air dye..tp..tak yah sembang la..mmg sejuk gler..hahaha..

dgn kwn kakak..kak dian..she's sooo cute..her big eyes dazed me...^__^

nie org2 yg skali ngan ktorang..

and of course tak lepaskan peluang bergmbr sesama...dyorang from Germany.. =D

sayang nyer camera lepas tu kne simpan dlm bag kalis air..so tak dpt ambik gmbr la lepas tu..and jeram2 yg ktorang lalu tu berjarak sejauh 6 km..bayangkan kau..sakit gler la tgn..tp sapa yg nak kuat kan otot and test otot kuat tak..dipersilakan main bnda nie..anda dialu-alukan..kte tgok sapa tak sakit tgn..hahaha..and my sis sngt la mls nak tolong paddle..dh la always jatuh bila boat lngar dinding or batu..aku risau gak keselamatan..but still...it's funny though...so lembik la dye..haha..then selaps about 3km ktorang bhenti..ada pitstop gak..hahaha..and of course kluar kan camera and ambik gmbr lgi..

after the pitstop..ktorang smbung lgi journey yg ada berbaki sejauh 3 km tu..tp sepanjang perjalanan tu smpai hbs, akan ada satu jeram dimana kau akan rasa jantung kau nak tercabut kluar..tp best la..hahaha..then dh nak smpai tmpat hujung dye tu..ktorang suma terjun msok air sbb nak berenang..punya la bengong kan..air deras gler..aku kena hanyut..nsib baik tak lemas..and org tu sempat tangkap aku and tarik dekat boat again.......the best part after the long journey of rafting, dye ada bgi mkn free..buffet..so..mmg akan ambik bnyak2 la...and lepas nie jgak la nyawa aku nyarid diragut bila ada lori bwak apa ntah but something like besi pnnjg reverse and nearly cucuk and tembus my head...nsib tak..mmg sipi lgi la nak kena masa tu..aku trus terdiam..so it's the end of the day..endin hari tu mmg tak syok trus...tp yeah..still it's a memories that i will never forget smpai bila2..^___^

THe VeRy fIrSt Day oF My JoUrNeY tO BaLi~

So aku pergi on the 4/5...well..aku tak tau nak ceritakan mcm mne...hahaha..it starts here...

i spend a day with my best best friend in KL..before i fly to Bali...im having so much fun..walaupun kaki sakit  jlan lma sngt and jauh sngt..like..that night..both of us rasa mcm badan nak terpisah dari kaki dh..haha..but still..we're having a blast..^__^...nak dbuat cerita...i love her mom..haha..sembang mcm2..and i really want to learn how to make that kuih..tak tau nma dye..haha..and also the juice...seriously guys..sedap gler.. craving for it dh now...*leleh air liur..~_~..

so i arrived at the airport masa matahari dh nak terbenam..sempat lgi ambik gmbr..about pkul 6 dekat 7 mcm tu la jgak smpai..yg tak leh than nyer..mak cik aku mintak org assist aku for the whole flight..sumpah rasa vvip..why?? dye tlong angkat beg, check in tak yah baris pun...and even msok plane tak yah tggu..aku org pertama msok..then sembang2 with the cabin crews..but the sad part was when they asked about my age..i said im 19 years old..they just smiled and rasa nya than gelak la jgak kot..and ada la sorang makhluk allah pling seksi nie ckap.."owh..ingat 10 thun..." i was like...WHAT!!! =.=' then smpai je airport bali..dh landing..aku org pling last kluar..=.=' that's the horrible part...bygkan lama bebenor nye nggu suma org kluar..kluar2 je dari plane ada sorang minah indon sambut aku..sembang2 la cikit..aku bedal je la speaking indon..ntah betul ke idak..aku main bantai je..haha..masa tu aku agak takut la jgak..sbb dye bawak aku masok satu bilik nie..immigration...org lain baris..aku bawak msok bilik tu..apa kau rasa? dh la first timer g luar malaysia..negara org..seram gak la..aku peluk je patung nie...

peneman hidup aku masa tu..hahaha..nak dbuat cerita lgi..dh settle everything..so i waited for my sister for about half an hour or so..i can't recall..but the thing is that, yg assist aku tu tak nak tgglkan aku sorang2..aku dh brapa kali ntah bgtw aku nak g toilet..mmg tak than dh msa tu..ayat dye lebih kurang mcm nie la.."Udah sampai kakaknya baru pergi ke kamar kecil..kamar kecil nya nun jauh disana.." lebih kurang la..itu apa yg aku fhm..hahaha..aku rasa nak jerit "KAU FAHAM TAK AKU DH TAK TAHAN NAK KENCING??!!!" tp aku wat lek wat cool..so aku kata kat dye.."Ngak papa, sampai sini aja deh..terima kasih ya..." berat la jgak rupa hati dye nak lepaskan..tp nasib baik dye lepaskan jgak aku..aku pun cepat2 seret suma brg aku..trus g toilet..legaaa~~then satu lagi masalah muncul..aku tak dpt contact kakak aku..and aku berlegar2 kat tmpat tu ada la dlm 15 minit kot..dh la bnyak pakcik taxi dok pggl2..aku dh naik angin sikit masa tuu..aku stop kat satu tiang..pkai headphone, bukak lagu kuat2..biar pekak..tade org kcau aku..then masa tu la kakak aku muncul..ntah dri mana tba2 lompat depan muka aku..nak marah tak jgak, sbb dh jumpa,,lega...tp nak kata tak marah tak jgak sbb buat aku tggu berejam,.


first day nie aku takde ambik gmbr sngt..tp bayang kan...aku bawak barg bnyk nie..

yup..nmpk sikit..klau kau pkai kreta...klau kau pkai moto?? Haaa..kakak aku ambik pkai moto..pastu..tak hbs lgi masalah..tayar pancit pulak msa otw dri airport..terdampar kat tepi jln tu dgn brg2 nie suma..tggu kwn kakak aku g tuka tayar..amacam? first day kot..bnyak bnda jd...literally..itu je la yg terjadi hari pertama...ada 13 hari lgi yg aku nak crita..but not every single day la..hahaha..just stay tuned! i'll update soon...^___^

What happen to my hair???

OMG!!!!!! I cut my hair already...and i look so freaking weird....so not cool man!! looks like goku *a character in dragon ball.* seriously.....i was like....WHAT THE HECK!!! but what can i do?? what had been done, cannot reverse time meh!! and i was like..WHATEVER~

Back again!!

For how long did i leave this blog un-updated?? hahaha!! Hurmm...now i'm working at the petshop.....and i got 'gatal2' already..don't know when will i go to the clinic..hahaha..for Mr. M. Norazwan.....miss you bro!! hehehe..or can i called you oppa?? Dear?? Baby?? Sayang?? Honey?? Love??? hehehe..i hope one day we will go for a date..just the two of us...doing what we always wanted to do together...*BI berterabur...don't care...nak jgak ckap BI..hahaha..