Cinta Lama~ P/S: ditulis selepas break up buat pertama kalinya dlm hidup aku..

Cinta itu buta..
kita mencintai seseorang itu dengan sepenuh jiwa dan raga..
namun apakan daya..
cinta tidak bertahan selamanya..

hati hancur pabila ku tahu kita tak kan bersama semula..
kau sudah bertemu dgn si dia..
yg mencuri hati mu..
semasa kita mencapai saat bahagia..

ku pasrah dan akur dgn keputusan mu..
bkn slh mu itu sayang ku..
namun salah ku jua kerana melepaskan mu dri pelukan ku..
hgga kini aku menyesali perbuatan ku itu..

aku sedar siapa diri ku..
aku bukan siapa2 di dalam hidup mu..
diri ku hanya singgah untuk sementara waktu..
sebagai kenangan terindah buat kau dan aku..

sudah lama kita berpisah..
ingatan ku tetap pda drimu..
aku buntu..
inikah yg dinamakan cinta??
yg menyiksa jiwa dan raga..
mungkin untuk seketika..
atau juga mungkin untuk selama-lamanya.

kau telah menemui kekasih hati mu.
kau tinggalkan aku..
seorang diri..
terperangkap di dalam memori yg plg indah dlm hidupku.

ku tahu kebahgiaan yg kau beri kan pada ku itu..
hanya untuk sementara waktu..
disaat aku memerlukan mu.
kau jauhkn dirimu dri diri ku..

kini..
ku hanya bisa mnangis tak berair mata..
hati ku hancur lebur bila teringatkan dirimu..
mengapa cinta kita yg utuh itu..
berakhir begitu sahaja??
tanpa kerelaanku..

kini..
kau sudah bhagia bersama si dia yg dicinta..
aku kini terkapai-kapai untuk mencari diriku semula..
kemana ku menghilang??
gelak tawa ku..
kegirangan ku..
dan kehidupan ku..
semua nya sudah hilang bersama cinta kita yg dulu..

ku harap aku bisa kembali semula seperti dulu..
untuk meneruskan hidup ku tanpamu..
aku sendiri.
berdiri d sini..
menanti cinta hadir di dalam hati..
untuk kembali bersinar...
agar hidupku kembali bermakna..
wlaupun tanpa kau untuk menyinari hidup ku..

kini..
aku sedari..
mungkin kita memang tidak ditakdirkan bersama..
mungkin bukan jodoh kita.
ya..
itu yg aku rasakan..
sekarang.
aku mulai menyedari..
kita telah ditentukan begini..
apa yg kita harus lakukan sekarang..
adalah mencari..
cinta suci yg lain akan hadir didalam hati..
dan menerima semua ketentuan ilahi..
yg telah ditulis sejak azali...

Something that i wrote 2 years ago..

Somewhere we went wrong..we were once so strong..our love is like a song..you can't forget it..You broke my heart, but i still love you with all the pieces left behind..What really hurts the most is you didn't come after me..Having a love of your life, and you break up and say "we still can be friend" is like your cat dying and your mom said "you still can keep it"..It is easy to say 'i don't love you anymore' but it's hard to explain the reason why i still do..Im lying in the bathroom floor..thinking about you, and try my best to breathe while at the same time wondering why it all went wrong and how am i gonna do to get back up and pretend like everything is all right..and think what to do with my broken heart..and i do that every day..
I looked in the mirror everyday and fixed my self up, wash away my tears and be strong, paint a smile everyday and walk  away...i have to pretend im fine..=)
I hope you know that i was crying every night just because i was thinking about you...
The worst feeling in this life is not feeling lonely. but being forgotten by someone you could never forget..
The hardest thing for me to do is to keep smiling just to stop the tears from falling everytime i saw you..
I cry not because our love ends, but because it still continues even if it's over..
I keep my self busy with doing things just to forget you..but everytime i stop or pause..i still thinking about you..
I hope you understand why i go out with other guy...it's not that i love him or had replaced you..it just something i do to make me busy and not thinking about you..I don't want to search for other people..I don't want to be in relationship with anybody right now..I just want you..but i can't have you for the second time..and im sorry for that..I hope you know how much i love you and what you mean to me..it just that it's not our destiny to be together and hope you will forget about me so that you can live better without hurting just because of me..i know it's hurt and hard to do when you still in love with that person..maybe you're not anymore but i know i am..btw..thanks bcoz of this you have make me become a little stronger than before...well..sorry for everything i cause you..sorry for hurting you..sorry for everything i've done...honestly, i want to hug you and kiss you for the last time before you go away from me forever..but i know i can't do it..im afraid that i can't let you go from my arms..well..it hurts but we have to move on..hope you happy now without me..and don't ever think even once that i already forget about you..i won't and never so...and also, don't even think that i don't love you before..i am and will always like that..that's all i wanted to say to you..thanks for loving me before..thanks for everything..thanks for the memory...i appreciate it..lastly,I REALLY LOVE YOU BIE....=')